this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
