NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
