You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
