11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
