My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
