he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
