im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
