I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
