yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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