he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
