I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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