do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
