When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
