You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
