And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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