I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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