She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
