Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
