just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
her vagine was all disorganized.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
