I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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