Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
