i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
