better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
