16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Someone came in the potted fern
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize