D3 body, D1 cock
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The Olympian is in my bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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