I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
