Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
