ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
