do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
