You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
