Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
