I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
