i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
