did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
