Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
