Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
