why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
