ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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