Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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