he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she told me i tasted like america
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
