My hand turned me down
babies were throwing up all over the place
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
