It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
