I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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