Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
