It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
