just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
