whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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