yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
