Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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