White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
