Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
