I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
