I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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