he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
