so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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