He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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