you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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