Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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