On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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