I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
