If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I AM VODKA MAN
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
