i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
