I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
