# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
