Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
