how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
