Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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