I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My feet surprised me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
